狂ったブログ

Thanks to all the well-wishers. I am now thirty. 30.

Not too sure what it means. Doesn’t seem too important. My brother threw me a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and then we went to a few bars, and I had a wonderful time. Tonight on my actual birthday, I cooked dinner for my aunt and uncle after a lazy day that consisted mostly of playing Wii Fit, surfing the Web, and talking to people on the phone. And tomorrow night we’ll have a big steak dinner.

I guess for most people the 30s are a period of increasing stability after settling down from the 20s. My 20s were rather stable, however (almost 5 years working at a bank), and starting in March of last year have become fairly unstable in interesting and mostly appealing ways. I am happily married to Lucía, and true to our wedding vows we seem to be in the very beginning of a long process of travelling the world and growing old together.

9 months ago I owned less stuff than ever before in my adult life, except maybe the start of college (and really, was I an adult then? Am I now?). I haven’t accumulated much since then. A bed. Two nightstands. A little clothing and a few books. I’m not sure if we will continue to live light or if belongings will gather around us like flies, or like metal filings to a magnet. My cousin just told me (while wishing me a happy birthday) that our grandmother used to say that three big moves was equivalent to one big fire as far as ones belongings were concerned. Is this from experience? I know she moved a lot…

Maybe we will live in Manhattan. Maybe we will live in Flushing. Maybe we’ll find someplace else in NY that we’ll want to live in. I still aim to find a place and move into it before winter really sets in. How long will we live there? I expect to live there longer than at any other apartment we’ve lived in (that would be 751 Taraval St., where we lived from something like February 2005 to September 2006), but not much longer. Two years? Probably not more than three. After that? Who knows. Will we rent or buy? Depends on what makes sense, I guess. I hope people will visit. I miss having roommates, but I think house guests are just as good. As long as there’s someone to cook for beyond just the two of us.

It makes sense to see landmarks in the transition from decade to decade. Ten years is a long time, but not too long to group into a comprehensible stage of one’s life. That 30 is a big number in this country is a tradition that makes sense to me. Nevertheless, it is a fairly arbitrary number in the context of my life, and I’d have to say I really began this latest stage of my life around the time Lucía and I decided to get married and move to Tokyo.

I have so many ambitions and so many things I want to do, and yet I don’t want to let go of anything either. I don’t want to stop playing piano, and I’d love to pick up the cello again. I want to do more photography. I want to do things with video. I want to do things with composing. I want to continue to watch lots of films. I’ve always wanted to read more, but I never give myself the time to do it. I want to cook more. I want to travel more. I want start software companies and build projects on the side. I want to see the Met, attend the NY Film Festival, see all the museums, see some live shows, see some plays, maybe even catch the first sports game in my life, spend more time with friends, get a cat, become fluent in Japanese, learn Spanish, resuscitate and keep up German, and take a course in Indonesian. I want to learn more about history, botany, learn how to write, learn how to draw, learn how to make bonsai, and maybe even get some exercise. I’ve always wanted to spend time sailing. All these things are important to me as activities or as dreams or as how I want to see myself, and yet there simply isn’t room enough in this one little life for all of them—at least not if I’m to take them as seriously as I’d like to.

I have wonderful friends, and a loving and huge family. I’m lucky enough to know and like second cousins on both sides of my family. I’m comparatively healthy, I was raised (I think) well, and I continue to learn about all kinds of things. I was lucky enough to have a knack for something that is capable of providing me with well-paying, intellectually rewarding, and fairly easy work. There is always more I could ask from life, and I will continue to do so, but it’s important for me to realize how lucky I am.